you wear heartbreak well darling

it makes your eyes bluer

two crystal pools all the boys want to dive into

because there is no lifeguard on duty

you know your a beauty 

you wear beauty well

like you can't tell that when you breath we can see it

a magical walking cigarette all the boys want to inhale 

one puff would be divine

you were baptized in smoldering ash and red wine

you wear temptation well darling

I'd miss mass to lie in the daisies with you

which makes me sympathize with all the boys after Adam

because the soul of a woman is rooted in rage

as if the hurt of the world rots in her womb

but darling, you wear that hurt well

1345 Frightened Street, DieAlone, CA 92651

I've walked through the back alley of your mind

I've hopped the fence of your fears

found the key to your comfort under the mat

and let myself in through the back screen door

but now your acting like I still have to ring the doorbell

and wait on the porch while you contemplate inviting me into your soul

as if i was never anything more than a traveling salesman

pawning useless inventions that could warm your heart and electrify your veins 

but they weren't useless, my inventions are patented 

our hearts were on fire and our veins surged with lightening

but a happy home caused you too much pain

always worried you wouldn't make rent or that the roof would collapse come winter

so you started chipping away at the back screen door

hoping the wood would splinter

leaving little slivers of your fear in my finger tips

until they became too sensitive to find the key under the mat 

but like any good salesman, i won't take no for an answer

so I'm pounding on your front door screaming promises

seducing you with a warrantee to my body 

while simultaneously spouting reassurance that you'll never have to use it

because I miss the late night walks through the back alley of your mind

when a brown bag of whiskey warmed your lips

letting secrets slip 

revealing truths under the landscape that camouflages your past

but you've convinced yourself this was a bad deal

that i was peddling crap you would one day discard at a garage sale

but unfortunately for you what i was selling was real

and when the next customer is fully satisfied, you'll know that you failed

I wish you weren't too scared to know you wanted that too.

you left me cold and wet

if i could just forget how cold the water was when you left me drowning 
   in our bed
then i would dive back into your arms, forgive all you did and said
but i remember that feeling of choking on waves of tears crashing overhead
so on this rainy winter's morning, i'll find warmth from my independence 
   instead

 

goddamn that man

he was just like the seventies

nothing significant comes to mind

but the photos sure smell warm

"Excuse me miss, I'm ready to order."

-"What can I get for ya hun?"
-"I'll have a cheeseburger with extra cheese and a side of french kissing."
-"Anything to drink?"
-"Whiskey, straight up."
-"That'll be right out hun."

i liked it better when you were nervous

nervously your thick pointer finger 

lifted sections of my tangled hair 

and tucked them behind my burning ear lobe

and the strands were unwashed

so they stuck there like clay

as i rose myself with my right arm

while grabbing your right cheek

with my clammy left palm

praying for the courage to press 

my quivering lips on your stuttering words

and once it was over I knew it was the first of many

but each time your finger gained more confidence

my ears burned less

my palms stopped clamming

and my lips became more sure

as they got to know your cocky mouth

sometimes at night

when our limbs are weaved together 

and we breath in unison while you sleep

i wish i could hit rewind on the tape deck of our time together

back before your thick pointer finger

nervously lifted sections of my tangled hair 

and tucked them behind my burning ear lobe

back to when i lay awake at night

haunted by the sound of my own breath

yearning for my limbs to be intertwined with yours while you slept

because i don't think that girl would be 

unweaving her arms and legs from yours at night

careful not to disturb your measured breathing

tip-toeing out the room to not wake you while sleeping

just to go lie on her side 

while an unfamiliar pointer finger

nervously lifted sections of her tangled hair

and tucked them behind her burning ear lobe.

Satellite

Blowing through my hair like sweet wind from the east
In my weakened state
I like the way you taste 
Like salt
You sprinkle little
Compliments that last
Whispers warm and touches teal
You tilt
The way I feel

unexpected house call

Summer came to visit January today
So I opened my window to greet her
But to my surprise 
You blew in 
I could smell you in the wind
And I felt happy, and then bitter, and then sad, and then
Okay
Because as swift as you blew in
You might blow back one day. 

reminiscence of a time well wasted

The wind started spitting salty insults from the sea
So I put my earphones in 
To drown the chill
And I drew my bare knees
(covered in freckled kisses from this past summer's sun)
Close to my chest bone
To guard my heart from winter's dawn
But Fall would come first
And fall we did
Right out of love
By November you and our memories became past tense in my vocabulary 
So one by one I started taking down pictures of us
Leaving only torn pieces of tape on the walls 
(too stubborn to peel off but not strong enough to keep the shards of my shattered summer in tact)
So there they remain
As dirty reminders of another lover lost
And I don't know if you are aware,
But The Heartbreak Hotel has a well stocked bar
So lately I've been getting lost in the bottom of a bottle
Instead of in between the sheets of your bed
Because goodbye was like a punch in the jaw
Everything has shifted out of place
Like unaligned teeth
And I can't fall asleep
And the sun is moving across the sky, she's making progress
And I'm still sitting here hugging my knees
Trying to drink warmth from their fading freckles 
While the sand starts to dampen beneath my feet